Lost Without You
by His Gem
Summary: New Moon AU. The disaster of Bella's birthday party were avoided in the nick of time. However, something beyond both of their control will tear them apart anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**So I've begun another story. Don't worry, I'll still be writing Visions as well. This needed to get out though. **

**I do not own Twilight, but I somewhat own this plot. This is my life, mixed in with Twilight. **

**I'll explain in the last chapter, if i make it that far lol. **

**Technically, I've written this story before. Back in 2005 (long before I read Twilight, I only read Twilight in 2008) The characters weren't developed in any way, it simply started from this point. I often wake up to the same nightmare of my love, being taken away from me early on the morning of December 2nd, 2005. Even years later, if I wake up and he's not in bed with me I become frantic. I'm hoping by getting this out, it might help a little. **

**Is that silly?**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy :) Let me know what you think please. As always, good and bad reviews are always appreciated. **

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**Lost Without You**

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Thursday December 1st 2005**_

I never wanted to move again.

I was tucked in comfortably within my heated blanket and though I was as snug as a bug in a rug, it unfortunately separated Edward's body from mine. My head was resting atop his chest which was clothed in flannel pajamas. He'd started wearing different types of funny pajamas recently, I'm sure Alice had been buying them for him, although I hadn't been brave enough to ask. His left arm held me close, his fingers were twirling a strand of my hair. His right hand held up our English Literature classes copy of "Romeo and Juliet." He kept the bedside lights off, as all of the other lights in the room, so he wouldn't keep me awake. He was using his perfect vision to read in the dark. I was jealous.

The bed was the most comfortable bed I'd ever slept in. It was a pillow top California King and it had been one of his present to me me, for my eighteenth birthday. I'd wanted to argue, knowing that it must have cost a small fortune, but the moment that he had plopped me down atop it, I couldn't find it in me to argue with him. It was like laying on a fluffy cloud. Just heavenly.

Of course, I also realized at the time what a big step it must have been for him. It was the first time since he'd been human that he'd bothered to have his own bed. It seemed like much more than a birthday present and more of a show of his commitment to me that there was no way for me to say anything regarding the price tag of such a gift. Since September, I had stayed over each and every weekend. Of course, Charlie was under the impression that I was under "adult supervision" and was staying in the same room as Alice, although I'm not sure if we were fooling him completely. Even though he had checked in with Esme on numerous occasions, he always grumbled a bit whenever Alice sweetly asked him if I could sleep over.

To my "adult supervision" comment, Edward had scoffed and asked if 108 years of age was considered adult enough. I'd cringed. "You're kind of old. That's gross."

This was the first time, however, that Edward and I were completely alone in the house for the entire night. The rest of the Cullen's were going to be hunting until midday on Sunday. It was Thursday night, a school night and I was to be going to school with only Edward in the morning. Charlie had gone out of town on a call that he had gotten from Mason County and had asked Carlisle and Esme if it would be alright if they could keep an eye on me while he was gone. Apparently, almost the entire department over there had come down with some sort of flu. Since he was a friend of most of the officers there, he had offered his help. The Cullen's were more than happy to put me up for a few days.

My thoughts swung back to the birthday party that Alice had thrown for me, as they usually did when I had too much time to think. What was one of the most wonderful nights in the world, could have easily turned into the worst in a split second. I had been ready to open my first gift from Edward when Alice abruptly pulled it from my hands. She'd seen me getting a paper cut and Jasper going crazy over just a little drop of blood. If that had happened, I'm sure that Edward would have been insanely overprotective and would have pushed me away. He'd been nervous for the rest of the night and had opened the rest of my presents for me. He even went so far as to remove the glass plates from the room and replaced them with paper plates. And he had not allowed me to cut the cake myself. The thought of losing him over a minor paper cut, or any type of small accident, scared the heck out of me. It was something that I know he would do. He'd said it often enough, that he would only stay as long as it were good for me. We had grown together so much since the beginning of our relationship, but I always feared that it would take just that, a simple minor injury, to send him running.

I shuddered again.

"Love, should I turn the blanket on to high?" Edward asked, placing his book down on the nightstand.

I squeezed him as hard as I could and forced a smile, looking up into his beautiful eyes. "I'm fine."

His eyebrow lifted. "Fine?"

Rolling my eyes, I reached behind me and swung the pillow that I wasn't using towards his face. He easily caught it with a grin. "Yes, I'm fine. Nice and toasty." I cuddled back onto his chest and watched as he picked up the book. "Are you studying for class?"

His laugh was rich and deep. "No Bella. I know _Romeo and Juliet_ word for word. There just isn't anything else to read in the house."

Confused, I glanced up at him again. "Carlisle has an entire library downstairs!"

"Yes, well I've read all of them plenty of times. You'd be amazed at how much one could read when they don't have the need to sleep and no one to keep them company." I felt his cold lips press against my forehead. "It's time for you to go to sleep. It's almost midnight."

"Hmmm... I'm not tired." I grumbled. However as soon as the words fell from my lips, I began to yawn. Stupid human needs...

My eyes closed and I felt him poke the tip of my nose with his cold index finger. "Sleep time for the human. Go to sleep Bella, we have school in the morning." He whispered into my ear softly. He began to hum my lullaby softly.

I drifted to sleep on a cloud completely content. Before I faded, however, I heard him whisper.

"I love you Bella, forever."

* * *

I woke up to the feeling of Edward stiffening underneath me. I didn't open my eyes but I could tell that there was something terribly wrong. "Edward?"

He gripped my arms somewhat tightly and shushed me.

My eyes popped open.

He'd never done something so impolite before.

Without making another sound I looked up to see his terrified gaze staring at the door. I'd never seen him look like that, ever. Not even in the baseball field in March when we had first met James and his group of nomads.

Something crashed downstairs and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I could hear my own heartbeat begin to pick up, it must have sounded deafening to Edward. His gaze was still trained on the door. "I'm so sorry Bella, there's no time..." I heard him mutter at the precise moment that the door to his bedroom crashed open.

I half expected Emmett to be paying some sort of cruel joke to scare us, but deep down I knew that Edward wouldn't ever be frightened of his own brother.

The frame shattered as the door hit the wall and splintered. Three vampires stepped into the room.

Each of them, with blazing red eyes.

In front, stood a short girl who looked about fifteen, although she could have been thousands of years old, I would never be able to tell the difference. Her dark brown hair was cut short and framed her face perfectly. She was beautiful, as all of them usually were, except that her wide eyes held a wild, evil look and her full lips were turned up in a scornful smirk. Behind her stood two male vampires, both so large that they reminded me of Emmett. Each of them had black hair, however ones was cropped short while the other had wavy hair that brushed the top of his massive shoulders. They too had evil grins on their faces.

Before I could even process anything more, Edward was up on the bed crouched over me in a protective stance, a loud hiss escaping his lips.

The little girl laughed.

"Edward Cullen I presume?" She asked, stepping forward. Behind her, the two men crossed their arms over their chests, acting as bodyguards even though I was sure that she didn't need them.

Edward didn't say a word. I lifted the blanked up to my chin and then almost snorted despite the situation. No amount of covering would help me right now.

She lifted her hand in front of her mouth and giggled. It sounded like wind chimes. "Mr. Cullen, we are hear on behalf of the Volturi, but I'm sure that you know that already." Her head tilted slightly to the side. "You've broken the law. You know what the consequences of that are."

I felt like my lungs collapsed. I couldn't breathe. This couldn't really be happening. It must be a nightmare or something. I could recall when Edward told me about the Volturi on my birthday, and about how he would have gone to them if things had ended badly with James. How he would seek them out so that they would destroy him. I struggled to get up, but one of his arms snapped back and held me in place. He was using himself as a shield. I peaked over his shoulder for only a moment, then cowered back pathecialy, wishing there were some way that I could be of some use.

When he made no move to speak, it seemed that the little girl's gaze became even more hostile. "You will step aside Cullen. She knows too much. And...Aro has requested your presence back in Voltera."

"My family will be back shortly, I doubt you want to have a fight with six more of us." Edward's voice was fierce, I could tell his jaw was clenched tight in anger. I was clutching the back of his shirt with both of my hands terrified to look over his shoulder again. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the nightmare to go away. He snorted. "If you even think about it, I'll force your hand. I know what Aro wants. He'll be very displeased with you."

I wish I could have known what she was saying to him through her thoughts.

Again she laughed. "We've been camped out for quite a few days. I know your coven will not be back for quite some time." She casually walked towards the side of the bed, leaned over and peaked over at me. "What a pity. But your right. Aro would like you more than anything." I watched as she straightened to her full height of maybe five feet tall. Her gaze turned back to Edward. "And your family. I'm sure Bella here will be able to give them the message."

Confused, my breathing stopped. Was she a mind reader too? How could she have possibly known my name?

"I'll come to you as soon as I see that Bella is safely at home." Edward started.

My grip on his shirt tightened, I wish I would have been able to hold him to me. "No Edward..." My voice was small and weak. There was nothing that I could do to help him. I had caused this entire mess. He would die because of me.

Before I could register anything else the vampire with the long wavy hair had lept over Edward and yanked me off of the bed. Less then a second later he held me against his wall like chest with one of his hands tightly around my neck. Terrified my eyes searched wildly for Edward, but I could barely pick up the movements of both he and the other vampire. I could only hear his deafening roar as he tried to escape from the other vampires grasp.

The girl hadn't moved an inch, except for placing her hands on her hips. "You aren't in the position to be making demands Cullen." She said darkly. Through the tears that were hastily gathering in my eyes, I could see hers turn sharp. "This might hurt a little."

No one in the room moved.

My eyes shifted to look at Edward. I saw his jaw clench, the muscles tightening. The veins in his neck bulged. His body let out a violent shudder.

Then he let out the most animalistic scream that I'd ever heard.

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**I know it may come off a little strange, to say that this happened to me. As I said, I'll explain later lol. I guess it sort of sounds silly. But I hope you enjoy the story all the same. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Twilight. **

**I hope you're all enjoying so far. **

**I realized, while writing the first chapter, that this was much harder to write than i had first assumed it would be. I know my own emotions during the mess, but am finding out that it's difficult to put into words that make any sort of sense. **

**Comments/Criticism are always welcome.  
**

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**Lost Without You**

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Edward's Point Of View**_

I hadn't been lying to Bella when I said that I memorized Romeo and Juliet line by line. I'd read it more than a dozen times, regardless of the fact that I could recall each sentence with full clarity the first time I had read it. Going through high school as many times as I had, it was technically a requirement. Although this year, it was the first time that I could actually identify with the character of Romeo.

I was only half paying attention to my reading. The words automatically ran through my head, but truthfully, all I could really think about was the angel tucked against my side. She'd finally fallen asleep after a long day at school and a few hours with my family before they departed. I listened to her heartbeat and her breathing as though it were the most beautifully composed symphony. To me, it was.

Greater than anything Sebastian Bach or Beethoven or even Claude Debussy could ever think to compose.

I was lost in it, not reading a word on the pages in front of me at all.

I closed my eyes and wished that I could share it with her. She would never know how much I envied her, the simple human things such as sleep or hunger. Regular hunger. I longed to be human with her, share in her human experiences. I wished for nothing more than to share a real life with her. To get married and someday have children. Watch them grow to be adults and watch them have children as well.

I'd been stuck at one point, a few months back. Following her birthday, I wasn't sure if it would be in her best interest for me to leave or not. Alice had been the voice of reason, finally snapping me out of my funk. She'd simply explained to me that if Bella would be left to her own devices, she would most likely get into a ridiculous unforeseen accident. She was a danger magnet after all. Alice, and the rest of the family, had assured me that by me staying with her, she would be the safest. It took a full two days for them to finally get me to see reason.

I prayed to God everyday that I was making the right choice.

As I watched the sun rise for the millionth time in my life I smiled slightly. It was nearing seven in the morning. I had let Bella sleep much too long. She would probably be so angry with me.

Without making a movement to jostle her just yet, I carefully placed my book back on the night table.

I was lowering my hand, about to stroke her cheek, when I heard them.

_They are alone... it's time._

My entire body tensed. This was not the mental voice of anyone in my family, or anyone I had come across before. It was female and she was excited. On the hunt. Two male voices invaded my thoughts both ready for a fight, excited as well.

They were too close. I would never have enough time to get Bella out.

Bella moaned from her position, half upon my chest. She didn't open her eyes, but I heard her mumble my name in question. I must have startled her awake. Against my better judgement, but terrified all the same, I gripped her harder than I should have and insisted that she be quiet.

I was about to tell her what was going on, when I realized that they were right on the front porch, ready to break in. I swung my head towards my bedroom door, my breathing stopped. My mind raced, trying to figure out a way to get us both out of this, or at least her. I knew who they were, I'd gained at least that from their thoughts. They had been sent by the Volturi. Aro had gained a vast amount of knowledge from a certain redhead, who was more than happy to show him all about us.

I almost winced when I heard the front door kicked open by one of the thugs. Absentmindedly I though of how unhappy Esme would be about her beautifully crafted door being demolished. Without thinking, I pulled Bella even more tightly against me as I heard them come up the stairs. "I'm so sorry Bella, there's no time..."

I could see each splinter of wood shattering as my bedroom door was thrown open, paint chipped off of the wall and fell to the floor from where the doorknob hit it. The door itself split in the middle.

I recognized these three.

Although I had never met them in person, I had seen them through the thoughts of Carlisle, as he told me about the Volturi Guard. The small little girl of barely fifteen was Jane, her evil eyes taking in the view that was laid out before her. Vampire and human, laying peacefully beside each other in the same bed. Her thoughts told me just how disgusted she was with the scene.

Both of the men appraised Bella as if she were a piece of meat. Technically, to them, I suppose she was. Felix and Demitri had no qualms of bedding their meal before the kill. Savoring the flesh before satisfying themselves with their blood. I wanted to gag. In their minds, visions of other girls, at other times that they had done the same to.

When Felix began to replace their faces with Bella's, I'd had just about enough.

Without a second though, I sprung into a crouched position on the bed, blocking Bella from their view. I could hear Dimitri let out a chuckle.

At my answering hiss, Jane laughed. "Edward Cullen I presume?" In her head, she had no question as to who I was. She'd heard the account first hand from Victoria, standing beside Aro the entire time as he retold everything that he had seen in Victoria's memory. I kept my mouth shut. The was no reason to answer her. For some reason, my silence was funny to her. She let out a small laugh. "Mr. Cullen, we are here on behalf of the Volturi, but I'm sure that you know that already." _I know what your talents are, there is no use hiding them from me. _She added silently. Her head tilted, making her appear even more child like. "You've broken the law. You know what the consequences of that are."

I'd known from the beginning, but had never thought that the Volturi would ever find out. I was solely responsible for dragging Bella and my own family into this mess. The guilt almost consumed me and if I had been alone, I would have collapsed because of it. There was no time for that now. I considered fighting, but I knew that I had no chance against the three of them. Their size, along with the fact that they drank from humans, left me at a disadvantage. Jane's gaze narrowed in anger. "You will step aside Cullen. She knows too much. And... Aro has requested your presence back in Voltera."

Knowing that I had only one shot to fool them, I took it. "My family will be back shortly, I doubt that you want to have a fight with six more of us."

Behind me, I could feel Bella gripping the back of my shirt. Her hands trembled, her heartbeat and breathing were much too fast for my liking.

_She has been sentenced to die Edward Cullen, strict orders, straight from Aro. You know the rules. _Jane's voice came through to me directly. Growling erupted from my chest. "If you even think about it, I'll force your hand. I know what Aro wants. He'll be very displeased with you." He only wanted me, I was sure of it. I saw through her thoughts. He wanted to attain me for his collection. As well as Alice and Jasper. If there would be any way out of this, I could offer myself. I saw that she knew what I was talking about. If she were to take Bella, I would do everything in my power to expose our race. They would have no choice but to destroy me as well.

Laughing again, she waved her tiny hand in the air. "We've been camped out for quite a few days. I know your coven will not be back for quite some time." Without fear of my attacking, for she knew I would not leave my position guarding Bella, she moved to the side to catch a glimpse of her hiding behind my back. She was focusing on something, the word "pain" running through her head almost a dozen times before a frown crossed her face. _I can't believe it didn't work... "_What a pity. But you're right. Aro would like you more than anything." She straightened her stance, focusing back on me. "And your family. I'm sure Bella here will be able to give them the message."

_Otherwise we could kill her right now, in front of you. _She challenged, the smirk reappearing on her angelic face.

Knowing I had no choice but to go with them and face my punishment, I nodded my head slightly. "I'll come to you as soon as I see that Bella is safely at home." As the words left my mouth, Bella's grip tightened, bunching the material of my shirt. She wimpered behind me.

"No... Edward..."

She knew what I was offering. I wish I had some other way to make her understand.

My thoughts were so focused on Jane that I didn't hear Demitri lunged over me and grabbed her. I reached out, but not quick enough. Within seconds he was holding her on the other side of the room, against his chest. His hand, which was larger than her entire face was clenched around her frail white neck. I could hear her gasping for breath. I was about to go on the attack when Felix attacked me from the side, seeing my move before I could even attempt it. I landed a few punches and snapped twice at his neck before he was able to restrain me.

I struggled against his hold, as hard as I possibly could. Each one of Bella's strangled breaths adding more fuel to the fire within me.

"You aren't in the position to be making demands Cullen." Jane informed. I could not focus on her. My eyes were glued to Bella, her eyes stared at me, watery but growing dim. Her face was beginning to take on almost a blue tinge. I barely heard Jane as she spoke her next words. "This might hurt a little."

Terrified, I thought she was speaking about Bella.

A moment later I realized that she was talking to me.

The burning began slowly at first, as though I was dipped into a vat of boiling water. While this normally wouldn't have been so bad to me it steadily grew worse. I didn't want to scream. I didn't want them, or Bella to see how much agony I was in. However, when it began to feel like my insides were being scorched with lava, I couldn't help myself.

I screamed.

My God I screamed.

It was as if it were I was being transformed all over again, except the pain was tenfold.

I was sure that I was in Hell.

I could not see, could not breathe. Although I was sure that I couldn't scream from lack of air, I was still screaming nonetheless. Felix must have dropped me at some point, because I was sure that I was on the floor, writhing. I felt cool wood against my back, but it didn't lessen the burning. It almost felt as though the floor were on fire as well. The flames licking at my skin.

I felt cold hands on my cheeks, someone rocking my body back and forth.

Bella.

I almost couldn't hear her through the wall of flames that had seemingly gathered around me. The roaring fire that I couldn't escape.

She was screaming as well.

"What are you doing to him! Please, please stop this! Take me! Leave him alone and take me!" She was begging. Crying. And they were laughing.

I wished I could tell her to not be afraid.

As she wept, the fire seemed to die slowly. her tears falling onto my face, giving me some relief.

I opened my eyes to look up at her. "Love..."

She clutched onto my hand as though it were her lifeline. "Edward, I love you so much. Please-"

Before she could utter her next word Demitri came from behind her and snatched her up again, yanking her by the hair. She stumbled backwards into his chest. Her scream pierced my heart, hurting almost as much as the lingering effects of Jane's fire.

I attempted to lift myself from the floor, but found it impossible. My knees betrayed me and collapsed. "Bella..." Gasping, I reached out towards her.

Demitri's nostrils flared. I saw his plans before he acted, but there was nothing that I could do to stop it.

He gripped his hand around her small head and slammed it into the wall.

I heard a small crack and watched as her body slid limply from his arms and crumpled onto the floor.

"Bella! NO!" Screaming, I lunged to reach her, but Felix grabbed my arms again.

The sent hit us first, each of us stiffening, watching intently as bright red blossomed on the floor beneath her. Felix licked his lips. "Not now Felix." Jane said, trying to restrain herself. "We've got what we came for." She stepped in front of me, a small smile gracing her lips once again. "Your lover isn't dead, we will leave her be. Don't make me change my mind."

Once again, the fire consumed. Although I wasn't sure if it was because of Jane or because I wasn't able to help Bella.

Dimly, I could feel Felix lift me over his shoulder, taking me away from Bella, the only thing that mattered in the entire world.

I prayed that Alice would see something and get to Bella.

Before it was too late.


End file.
